One year ago my boobies turned into foobies. After I found out about my BRCA+ status, I knew I would do the surgery. I had people question my decision at the time, but I knew what I wanted to do. I had already seen my sister have the mastectomy and then go through chemo before going through the reconstruction process. I knew my options. I knew that I *could* have just opted for higher surveillance. I could have gone to my breast surgeon 3 or 4 times a year and I could have had a breast MRI and mammogram every 6 months. I would worry. I would feel that weight. Eventually, I would probably develop the cancer. There was an 87% chance that I would someday have a doctor tell me, "you have breast cancer". and then? THEN, I would go through the mastectomy and the chemo and possible radiation. What about Etta? Could I just stop my life? What if I had 2 or 3 kids by then? Nope. I was tested for this gene mutation so that I would be armed with knowledge. I decided to take charge and I decided that I was okay with losing my breasts.
And I did. One year ago, I was anxious about surgery, but completely at peace with my decision. I remember waking up from surgery. I remember the pain, of course. I mean, how does one breathe with an elephant on their chest? But, what I most remember is the overwhelming sense of RELIEF. I had done it! I had reduced my risk of breast cancer from 87% to less than 2%. I spent a few weeks recovering, but overall, my recovery was easy. I was surprised by how quickly I bounced back. How quickly I felt "normal" again. By mid March, it was all over. I had gone through the original mastectomy, and I had gone through the expansion process, and the second surgery- "the exchange" (where the plastic surgeon replaced the tissue expanders with more permanent silicone implants). And now it has been a year. I still haven't had the nipples reconstructed. I'm really just not interested in a third surgery (only a 20 minute procedure, but it still involves general anesthesia), and who needs nipple buds anyway? Seriously! The beauty of having perfectly perky boobs the rest of your life is that you don't need to wear a bra. I don't need "headlights" on all the time! But, I could always change my mind and have it done later.
So, here we are. One year later and I feel totally normal. Every once in a while, I have a hard time opening a tight jar or squeezing the baby gate latch, and in the winter, my foobs feel cold, but I have no regrets. Having the prophylactic mastectomy was absolutely the right decision for me and for my family.
So, happy birthday, foobies! I wonder if I should get a cake? ;)
***FOLLOW-UP****
My beautiful friend, Erin, DID make me a cake. You can see it here- http://growingupwenzler.blogspot.com/2011/01/erin-is-awesome.html?m=0
Showing posts with label foobies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foobies. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Race For The Cure 2010
This year was a little different for me. I don't feel like just a regular supporter of the cause anymore, because I have had the bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. I have lost my breasts, but I didn't have cancer. I didn't go through chemo/radiation. I didn't lose my hair. I didn't get chemo brain. I didn't worry that a lump could cause me my life. I'm not a "survivor". I had the surgery so I wouldn't have to be a survivor. I wanted to take control. I did it for my daughter and for my husband, and for the rest of my family. I didn't want to have to suddenly put my life on hold in 5 or 10 years when I eventually got breast cancer. I didn't want to put my body through the surgery AND the chemo (and possible radiation). In the hereditary cancer community, I'm considered a "previvor".
It has been 10 months since my prophylactic mastectomy and I feel great. The recovery was very easy for me. The intense relief I felt in those first few moments after surgery far outweighed the pain. I still feel that the surgery was absolutely the right decision for me.
So, like I said, I'm a previvor. I'm not a survivor, but also not just a regular supporter. I'm really not sure where I fit at the event this year. When I went to register and pick up my bib & race t-shirt on Friday, the VERY sweet lady asked me if I was a survivor. I paused and told her no, but I told her I was a PREVIVOR. She asked if I was BRCA positive and I told her I was and that I had the mastectomy in January and she handed me the pink race bib. The one meant for survivors to wear (non-survivors wear white bibs). Then she pointed me around the corner to pick up my shirt. On my way back out, I stopped again to tell her I just didn't feel right about the pink bib since I didn't actually have cancer. I didn't go through the chemo, but she insisted. Her name was Stacey and she made me cry. So, in the end, I wore the pink race bib.
I made shirts for my little family to wear. They were GREAT and got several comments. Keith's shirt said, "I *heart* my wife's foobs" on the front and mine said "yes, they're FAKE..." on the front. The back said "my real ones could have killed me" and it said "I am a Previvor". Etta's shirt said "My Aunt D is a survivor / My Momma is a previvor". All three of our shirts fell apart as the morning wore on (Keith's was the WORST). I made them with iron-on transfers last night and they were a bit of a disaster. I had messed up a couple shirts earlier in the week with different (but MUCH better) transfer paper. After messing those up, I had to go back and buy more paper and shirts. I bought cheaper transfer paper. Apparently that was a big mistake. It was CRAP! The transfer didn't stick to the fabric and flaked off all day today. I actually carried a roll of double-sided tape with us at the walk so I could keep fixing Keith's shirt.
The weather was perfect today! We got there about an hour and a half before the walk started and we milled around in the "Race Village" and got a few freebies. This event is always HUGE, but I think the crowd was a little bigger this year because of the nice weather. About 15 minutes before the walkers got to start, we met up with Lauren and little Liam and Amy and Susan and a few other "Primrose Pals" for the walk. The walk took us right past their school which was decorated for the event. So, we stopped and took a little group photo.
By the time we finished the walk, we were hot and sweaty and stinky and TIRED. Etta passed out before I was even able to get out of the parking lot!
It has been 10 months since my prophylactic mastectomy and I feel great. The recovery was very easy for me. The intense relief I felt in those first few moments after surgery far outweighed the pain. I still feel that the surgery was absolutely the right decision for me.
So, like I said, I'm a previvor. I'm not a survivor, but also not just a regular supporter. I'm really not sure where I fit at the event this year. When I went to register and pick up my bib & race t-shirt on Friday, the VERY sweet lady asked me if I was a survivor. I paused and told her no, but I told her I was a PREVIVOR. She asked if I was BRCA positive and I told her I was and that I had the mastectomy in January and she handed me the pink race bib. The one meant for survivors to wear (non-survivors wear white bibs). Then she pointed me around the corner to pick up my shirt. On my way back out, I stopped again to tell her I just didn't feel right about the pink bib since I didn't actually have cancer. I didn't go through the chemo, but she insisted. Her name was Stacey and she made me cry. So, in the end, I wore the pink race bib.
I made shirts for my little family to wear. They were GREAT and got several comments. Keith's shirt said, "I *heart* my wife's foobs" on the front and mine said "yes, they're FAKE..." on the front. The back said "my real ones could have killed me" and it said "I am a Previvor". Etta's shirt said "My Aunt D is a survivor / My Momma is a previvor". All three of our shirts fell apart as the morning wore on (Keith's was the WORST). I made them with iron-on transfers last night and they were a bit of a disaster. I had messed up a couple shirts earlier in the week with different (but MUCH better) transfer paper. After messing those up, I had to go back and buy more paper and shirts. I bought cheaper transfer paper. Apparently that was a big mistake. It was CRAP! The transfer didn't stick to the fabric and flaked off all day today. I actually carried a roll of double-sided tape with us at the walk so I could keep fixing Keith's shirt.
The weather was perfect today! We got there about an hour and a half before the walk started and we milled around in the "Race Village" and got a few freebies. This event is always HUGE, but I think the crowd was a little bigger this year because of the nice weather. About 15 minutes before the walkers got to start, we met up with Lauren and little Liam and Amy and Susan and a few other "Primrose Pals" for the walk. The walk took us right past their school which was decorated for the event. So, we stopped and took a little group photo.
By the time we finished the walk, we were hot and sweaty and stinky and TIRED. Etta passed out before I was even able to get out of the parking lot!
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